Additional Expenses To Think About As A Divorced Parent
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The expenses for caring for children continue to rise, and that doesn’t make it any easier for divorced parents as they attempt to keep their own household going. At the same time they often try to share expenses for their children. One of the parents should have both medical and dental coverage on the children. This may be court ordered or due to a mutual agreement between the parents.
Routine check ups at both the doctor’s office and the dentist are essential for your children. The cost of this type of preventative care out of pocket is very high. If one of your children should have an emergency for either place it can be a bill you have to pay for a very long time.
It is the responsibility of both parents to pay for such care that their children need. Have a plan of action so that it won’t be a problem later on. For example if one of you is paying for the premium on the insurance then the other parent should pay for the co-pays and deductibles. Discuss the care that is needed before it is done so that both parents agree to go forward with it.
Childcare is another expense that can add up when a divorce takes place. Perhaps one of the parents was the caregiver and now both are in the workforce. The parents should decide on a childcare provide together. It may be a licensed facility, a nanny, or even a family member. The cost of childcare should be second to the quality of care that your children are receiving though.
Inevitably there will be additional expenses for your children. Who is going to pay for school clothing and supplies? Many parents who pay child support assume that they pay enough for such items with that monthly check. Yet it may be just enough to help the family with food and shelter. You don’t want your children to go without due to money being an issue.
Many children love to be involved in extracurricular activities as well. It can be sports, dance, clubs and even school outings. There will be expenses involved as well based on fees, special clothing and shoes needed, and even enrollment fees. Parents need to be willing to share such expenses, so that their children can participate in such events.
Summer is also a time when there may be more expenses for children. They may want to go swimming, camping, or even to a summer camp. All of these things cost money and someone has to pay it. Some feel the parent who makes more money should cover the cost. This is up to the parents, but a problem could arise when one parent can’t afford a contribution..
As you can see there are plenty of additional expenses to consider for your children when you are divorced. They really haven’t changed from when you were married. Yet if you were the parent who didn’t take care of such issues you may not have realized how much they cost. Make sure you are willing to discuss these expenses with the other parent. You want to do what is in the best interest of your children.
How to define the rules for your kids if you get divorced
Even when married it isn’t always easy to be the best of
mentors for the children, so you can imagine that it doesn’t
get any easier if and when parents split up. Alas, it can be
considered even more of a challenge when you need to “sleep
with the enemy”, metaphorically speaking, of course. As in
any relationship, children should come first, and for their
sakes parents, married or not, need to agree on certain
guidelines for the future upbringing of their offspring.
Adopting an attitude of indifference or playing the injured
party in a pending divorce just doesn’t wash, and it will
have dire consequences for all concerned further down the
road, if that’s the way one parent chose to go. Kids of
today, and not just teenagers, catch on quick and if they
sense a split in the parental ranks, as far as rules are
concerned, they will pick the rules that will benefit them
most. This will be possible, because you will have handed
them the opportunity on a silver platter and you both will
lose control. The real loser will be a disturbed child, or
children.
In reality, you and your ex spouse aren’t going to agree on
all the rules for the children in both households. That is a
war that very few people will ever win. Yet you can do your
part by attempting to come to a compromise on those that are
very important for you as well as for the well being of your
children. It is a good idea to write down the rules so that
everyone knows what it to be expected.
Should one of the parents have a new partner, and that
relationship is new, or maybe the cause of the break-up,
don’t have the new partner at the meeting with your former
spouse. That can be considered as very inappropriate and can
be construed as punching below the belt. Regarding the
guidelines for the kids, it is important that you stick to
some rules that are to be valid at both households. These
rules allow your child to adjust quicker to his new
life-style of commuting between both sets of parents. Agreed
bedtimes and what time to be indoors at night will quickly
help to create stability in your child’s life. He or she
deserves this!
Curfews are also one rule that you want to have in place
for both homes. Otherwise your children will start to
venture to spend more time with the parent who gives them
the most freedom. This can result in some very serious
problems for you as well as your children down the road.
The rules that are established for both households aren’t
going to be set in stone. There may come a time when some of
them need to be re-evaluated. If you are able to communicate
well with your ex spouse schedule a time for the two of you
to discuss it. Once you have come to some conclusions you
can discuss the results with the children. It is best if you
can do this together though. They will be more receptive to
a united front then if only one parent is approaching them
about the rule changes.
Occasionally some rules will be in the kids favor - for
instance you may perhaps give them a later time to turn in
at night, or a later time to be indoors at night due to the
fact that a child is older and shows responsibility. Others
rules may reduce freedom slightly, which could be
constraining time spent in front of the television or
playing computer games. It’s necessary to keep your finger
on the pulse and keep things in check so your kids remain in
balance.
Too many parents tend to feel so bad that their children
are in the middle of the divorce that they become extremely
lenient. They don’t set boundaries as they don’t want to
upset their children. They also don’t want to be looked at
as the Mean One as compared to the other parent. Yet
children do crave boundaries and rules even if they won’t
tell you so.
Never bend the rules that you and your spouse have agreed
upon for both households. Doing so is going to create more
problems for you than it is worth. The other parent is
eventually going to find out and they will likely be both
hurt and angry over it. You may think you will win some
affection from your children if you let them have a later
curfew but that isn’t going to happen. They will have more
respect for you if you stick to the established rules that
are in place.
As a divorcee, setting up crystal clear rules for children
is a crucial step in pacifying everyone. However, if you
don’t understand the importance of this, you’ll soon
discover that there are disputes and conflicts just waiting
to explode in your face. Don’t allow a major power battle to
be the consequence of a broken promise.
Single divorcees…..?
What is the meaning of Single Divorcees?
In today’s world, for whatever reason, the hot passion and deep feelings we had for our ex-partners has dwindled, diluted or disappeared. If not, then the feelings our ex’s had for us has!
If it hasn’t, then for whatever reason we decided to part.
However, life goes on and we have to live it as best we can.
The meaning of SingleDivorcees.com is to be a source of good information, tips, ideas, advice and fun about anything and everything that we need to cope with. Or, anything that happens to come our way in any shape or form.
Of course, you don’t have to be divorced to follow along 
Here’s hoping you will drop by regularly.
